Thank you God for a day to live, to breathe, to imagine a real future. Thank you for making a way when every other path was impossible. Every other way unimaginable.
You are everything I have been searching for, yet you found me. You are the door I have longed to open, yet you went through hell and back just to bring me home. I am now forever because you found me in a moment when I asked to be let in.
- Terlingua, TX (2015)
There is joy, lasting peace, from your sacred and scarred hands that now bring healing to the fatal wound of death. You gave me life from death. How could I be anything but yours?
Where else has there ever been a love like this? We can't comprehend, we can't calculate the cost, we cannot measure the depth. For we are only human. This love is unimaginable but it is also undeniable.
- Lajitas, TX (2015)
In life, each of us makes a personal journey on the way of the cross. We are confronted with many decisions for or against Jesus.
He chose the cross and we have the choice whether we will follow him or not.
- Terlingua, TX (2015)
May our hearts be moved to hear your call, a call to change, and follow you.
]]>Hoping that you all had a meaningful Easter this Sunday while being in the presence of loved ones virtually or at home and experiencing a time for reflection and gratefulness.
For the past 4 years I've felt my spirit anticipate Easter more and more over any other holiday. What a time of year to contemplate renewal especially in the season we find ourselves in now. I'm beginning to notice in my own story that little things matter more than they used to when you are forced to slow down. Man, I feel like my soul can sometimes catch it's breathe and let out the deep sigh of relief it needs.
Still, nothing is certain in terms of our world, but the reminder that lifted my heart this Sunday was that we can be certain of one thing in our inner lives... "We are simply not made for death. We are made for life." This reality becomes more true as I sit longer and pause to notice the beauty of God in the smaller moments of this world.
There are not a lot of promises going on right now that the world can hold onto, but you and I...we were made to hold onto something through this life. Promises for a better future, the return of Spring, or just the assurance that someone is going to be there for us...always.
This painful moment we find ourselves in is shaking a lot of the promises we've hoped in as we settle into the sobering reality that everything in this world is temporary. But... we were made for life right? Definitely! Life that is more than temporary. A life beyond pain and death, love that lasts forever, a life together always.
I encourage you this week, take this moment, the rest of 2020 my friends, and set your mind on things above. There is still much in front of us even if it's hard to see through the uncertainty of everything right now. Deep trials dig deep reservoirs and have a history of producing much courage, new faith, and the much needed endurance for what lies in wait. I wish I could physically hug every one of you right now and affirm this truth together.
There is much more welled up inside, but for now I'm just happy to make some history out of my backyard for now. I love you all. Then, Now, Always
- Troy, Tiff, and Millie
]]>Give me an excuse to get out to the West Coast and I'll take it every time. After working the final Vans Warped Tour in Mountain View, CA, I had the rare opportunity to spend 3 days with my cousin Chris who drove up from L.A to spend what would be a really sweet moment in our lives together.
At first, it was going to be an extra 3 days away from my daughter and wife, but we knew this opportunity would be hard to come by again as both of us are family men with busy and different lives on opposite ends of the country.
In many ways, my cousin is living out my California dream and I couldn't be more proud of him for how has made it his home. Ever since I visited northern Cali for the first time in 11th grade, my heart has been captured by the vast landscapes and cooler air that lifts my spirit.
Every time I return, I feel like this is where I'm from. My soul is affirmed and feels welcomed back to where I belong. The deepest things I long for are easily connected here. I feel like I've known this place and it's known me.
It's amazing how until you arrive to the place your heart longs to take you, do see things from a truer vantage point. You begin to understand how much you appreciate the time you've been given and the people in your life you get to share that time with.
For a moment, the fog in our lives clears and you are met with the reality that your time here is unquestionably precious. Your relationships are all that you have at the end. What you spend your life on, how you invest your energy, where your mind, body, and spirit connect all makes an incredible impact on the time you've been given and in the life of others.
I will always look back with delight dear cousin on our moments that faded into the bay. Our talks over breakfast, our 30 miles on foot through forest, ocean, and concrete, and our golden pact to watch the sun rest every evening while the warmth of our bond was in our hearts and a little Bulleit Rye was in our chests reminding us how beautiful, hard, and worth it is to be known. Dear Cousin, I sure love you dude.
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So, how have we been able to pull this off so far? All small businesses have a different story and I can tell you that our's is definitely out there. So to my entrepreneurs, dreamers, visionaries, and hustlers...this one is for you.
The real truth, as most entrepreneur's know, is that nothing is really ever as stable as one might assume. Everything relies on you believing in it. You could get up any day and walk away if you believed it wasn't working anymore. We have to understand our career choice is not the most certain one we could have picked, but sometimes the opportunities just come to you. You just have to believe in taking a chance when they come. That's been a big part of our story.
It was 2012, when Tiff and I, along with our pup @imwithhenri, sold everything in Orlando and moved to Portland, Oregon. It was such an exciting time in our lives. We just finished following the Vans Warped Tour hustling necklaces outside in thelines every morning and had enough money to begin a new life in the Northwest.
Eventually, that money began to run out after 3 months of bills and I realized I needed to get a "real job". I didn't know what I could do well other then sell stuff so I ended up selling Subarus in Oregon. It seemed like an easy gig.
After 4 months of complete despair and heartache in the industry, I quit the same day I was baptized and felt this call on my life to share this message that was given to me years ago. That no matter what changed in our lives, we are pursued by an undeniable, eternal love Yesterday, Today, and Forever.
Then, Now, Always was just my previous band's album title and a necklace that was kind of selling on Etsy. I knew I had something I believed in and could even sell. So we ended up finding a family friend named Bob and began production of our first necklaces as a business! He had the most amazing hobby garage/man cave ever!
I was also finding out about other music festivals that we could start traveling to and setting up shop at and it was then I knew we could make this into a full-time thing.
We ended up traveling 9 months out of the year and even to Europe our first year with Warped Tour and began to question why were we paying rent when we could just buy an RV. So once again, we sold everything and moved into a new home but this time on wheels.
Overtime, I realized in running a business there are only 3 hard facts. Gross, Cost, and Net. My best advice I gave myself...never look at Gross. Put most of your attention on Cost. As we started adding more inventory, festivals, and traveling, everything added up quickly but the RV allowed us to not have the normal overhead of a business. Our rent was $375 in the RV, we mainly hired family members when we needed help, and our warehouse was my wife's childhood bedroom. We kept everything else on the RV and shipped whatever we needed to the festivals while going and seeing the country in between!
"You don’t live for vacations because you don’t need a break from what you’re doing—working, playing, and relaxing are one and the same. You don’t even pay attention to how many hours you’re working because to you, it’s not really work. You’re making money, but you’d do whatever it is you’re doing for free.”
―
After 2 years on the road, we were wanting to start a family and eventually purchase a home. Ironically, my long time friend called me and asked if I would be interested in coming back to Orlando to work on staff as a pastor at a small church where I could create new relationships, connect people, and love them. These are 3 things I live for by the way. It felt like a surprise gift as it allowed me to keep running the business while pulling in extra income to start saving for a home and family while living in my best friend's backyard for a year.
The job lasted a year and a half and once again the calling I first heard long ago was back on my life and back on the road. We ended up selling the RV though and moved into a small rental in hopes to grow a family.
Still wondering if the business was able to sustain itself, we kept doing music festivals and had 2 amazing summers growing our brand with the Vans Warped Tour. Last summer was our biggest year to date and wouldn't you know it, we were able to buy our first home and begin renovations all right before our beautiful first born Millie Quinn blessed the world on Nov 11, 2018.
Now, there are so many more things to talk about on the logistics of building up cash flow, going debt free, living dirt cheap, and making plans that I will share in a later blog, but there are a couple of huge points I will leave you with that have guided me over the last 6 years in "How to pull any of this off!"
1. Remember, this life is so short. It is also our greatest gift. Seek and Find what you were called to do on this earth. Narrow it down to 3 words your closest friends would call you. Mine are Connector, Creator, Communicator. If I'm not doing any of these daily, I am not honoring the purpose I have been given.
2. Everyday is completely uncertain. There are no guarantees no matter how much time, effort, and money you put into something. You could quit any day, you could barely make enough money for years and then one year make all the difference only to find you have to be even wiser to make sure your business keeps sustaining the next year. Everything changes. What is certain after a while though is if you truly are living your purpose, you wouldn't trade the hills or valleys for anything else.
3. The most important thing you have is your Time. Spend it with the people you love, invest it in what brings you the deepest joy, don't just settle at happiness. Fill your time in the places that make you come to life! At the end of the year, I probably could have made a little more selling Subarus. I would have been able to open my bank account and predict the stability and security but I'm finding my wealth in other portfolios filled with memories that make it all worth the time I've been given. Waking up next to my wife in the morning desert sun, reuniting with old friends that I would normally not see, hearing my baby daughter find her voice in Sedona. Time. More precious than gold. Moments we leave behind that shape us into who we are to become.
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"You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven.” - Matthew 5:13
Described as" the greatest meeting of land and water in the world”, I had dreamed for over 15 years of one day venturing all the way to the almost mythic Big Sur, CA and driving up and down the "longest and most scenic stretches off undeveloped coastline in the U.S". It was the first place I had ever visited that absolutely blew away what I had only held in my mind’s eye. I’m pretty convinced the “Sur” part of its name is on purpose as this place surpasses all expectations of what true, raw beauty can be. For now, I will dream of returning and bringing our firstborn one day. We camped on the side of a cliff for 2 nights with some longtime friend’s and their beautiful husky dogs. Before sunset, we would traverse down a narrow trail surrounded by poison oak to the rocky shoreline to catch the sunset in this rock formation that I couldn’t take my eyes off since I saw it the day before. My friend and I climbed out on it and stood atop while fully becoming immersed by the pacific waves crashing it's invigorating waters over us. I felt so alive and connected to the everything all at once. We were laughing for no reason like children again. So full of true joy and amazement for no reason! I can still taste the salt on my lips and the warmth of light glowing on my skin as the icy waters began to dry on me. It was reminder. It was a taste and a feeling of what truth really was. And for no reason, other than to just embrace it, it was there for us. It always had been. It always will be. It teaches us to be just that for others.
The region was ceded from Mexico to the U.S in 1848 and was the United states “last frontier.” It was once the most isolated areas in the U.S until, after 18 years of construction, the infamous Hwy 1 was completed in 1937.
Author Henry Miller said, “Big Sur is the California that men dreamed of years ago, this is the face of the earth the creator intended it to look like.”
Novelist Herbert Gold described Big Sur as “one of the grand American retreats for those who nourish themselves with wilderness."
First known people to have inhabited here were the Ohlone, Esselen, and Salinan Native American tribes. The area was later colonized by Spanish Europeans in 1770 and established the California Missions, where they baptized and forced the native population to labor at the missions where their population and culture were later devastated by unknown diseases at the time smallpox and measles.
“For though we fall, we will rise again. Though we sit in Darkness now, the Lord will give us Light.” - Micah 7:8
Recognized as the finest and most extensive coastal dunes remaining in California, The Oceano Sand Dunes were first inhabited by the Chumash Native Americans well before the 1700’s and since have been sought after by explorers, seekers, artists and hermits who believed the Dunes were a place of creative energy and solitude unmatched.
I woke up early in October to catch the sunrise to the east while the golden coast lay just behind the other side of the dunes and I began to understand the unmatched solitude and stillness the seekers and roamers before me had found.
There are fewer places that I have been that feel like they take you to another country or even another world as you stand in the vast design and shapes of the Dunes. Depending on where you stood, perception would defy reality and you began to wonder if you were looking outward or upward. The sand was the finest I had ever touched and time didn’t feel real anymore. All I could sense was something eternal.
Fun Fact: The original 1923 “The Ten Commandments” movie was filmed here to recreate ancient Egypt and the massive props used were buried onsite to prevent reuse until 2013.
“Lift up your eyes to the heavens and see: who created the stars? He who brings them out like an army, one after the other, calling each by it’s name. Because of his greatness and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing.“ - Isaiah 40:26
Page, AZ is uniquely Navajo and borders the Navajo Nation. Thousands come to visit the iconic Horseshoe Bend every year. It is cut by the Colorado River.
It was the morning of Valentines Day and we had came to watch the sunset the night before over Horseshoe Bend. We had absolutely no where to stay that night in the desert so we ended up camping out in the dirt parking lot after all the tourists left. I’ll never forget that night as my wife and I stuck our heads out the window together and fell asleep from staring at the vastness of the universe and the millions of stars for over an hour or so. To comprehend the amount of space our eyes held and to fathom the span of time was enough to wear our minds and hearts to sleep. I think it is meant to be this way. We find ourselves looking into nothing and at the same time everything.
The next morning I woke up to experience the same nothingness as I approached the mighty overlook and watched everything begin to happen as the sun came up behind me and set the walls and cliffs on fire with its amazing brushes of light. It was just a vastness that spanned beyond what my eyes view. Just like the night before…. Everything felt so far away, yet it felt as intimate as falling asleep and waking up next to a true lover.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels or principalities, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, no height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, could separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:39
Some of my most cherished memories I will carry the rest of my life began in this small beach town known as Pacific City. My wife and I stumbled across this town many years ago and never stopped coming back for birthdays, anniversaries, and getaways. Every time we stay I get up before sunrise and start my trek down to the beach, up the might sand dune, and onto the other side where there is always something beyond words to witness and just be in the presence of true greatness, power, and glory.
It is not an easy trek and many have met their death getting to close to an edge and falling off the unstable cliffs made of brittle sandstone. I have never been to a place where I felt like I have been in the belly of a storm or in the stomach of the sea. I sat mesmerized for over 3 hours watching as waves pounded relentlessly onto the seawalls. Some waves were so mighty when the crashed, the ocean spray reached the top of the cliffs. I was in awe as I thought how this drama and violence of the ocean has been playing this out since the beginning of time. I thought about how it probably has looked different every single day since it began. I thought about how there was no beginning or end in sight. The waves keep returning to where there from. The sea walls erode more and more everyday by the beating they receive. Everything changes. Nothing will stay the same. I return here year after year and the waves never stop their assault on this side of the chasm. It’s violence captivates me. It’s sounds still echo and reverberates through my soul and I never forget could forget it’s sweeping melody for all my life. I am just in the middle of this. That is all. I am only a part of this. With or without me, everything going on will do what it has always done. One wrong move and I could never return the same. Coming back still, I am not the same.
The Nestugga Native American tribe were the first settlers here due to being driven from their land that was desimated by one of the largest forest fires in American history (1,500,000 acres) of old growth forest burned caused by a single person starting a brush fire to clear debris. Settlers in 1854 relocated them since then and began lucrative cannery businesses and later logging and dairy farming. The area also became a vacation destination for Oregon Trail pioneers from the midwest who had never seen the ocean.
For I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then, You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will Seek me and find me, when you seek with all your heart. I will be found by you and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from the places where I have driven you, and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile. - Jeremiah 29:13
I came back to explore more of the Central California Coast and wanted to venture further North toward San Fransisco. So to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary, my wife and I found a quite little beach town just north of the bay area to stay in. I would walk down to the beach every morning before sunrise and start seeking out the best vista to witness a new day rising. I continually gravitated to this area where the cliffs met the beach and where the sun would kiss the water and clouds. Dodging the tide and scaling some decent seawalls, I climbed over to this remote cove of heaven where it was just myself and a few birds meeting for breakfast. I sat on top of the seawall that I climbed and thought to myself how far my life has come. How fortunate I am to be right here, right now. I felt my heart beat. I listened to my lungs fill with the Autumn air. My soul became still. I began to pray a prayer of thankfulness. My heart has spent most of it's life seeking. And here I am. Sitting still on my 5th wedding anniversary and the sun is rising beyond the cliffs while San Fransisco floats in the distance. A new morning. A new discovery. Something so private and secluded. Like a gift given in secret between loved ones. Something so valuable and fragile. So much life ahead to hope for. I thought about my beautiful wife I would begin my day with. I wanted to stay forever in what I had found. So many years I have been seeking out good desires and they became alive right here in this moment. It was nothing more than that. Just a moment that soon passed. But it was perfection in true form. It needed to be nothing more. Nothing less. It was enough for me to carry on with hope in my heart. Joy in my soul. Peace in my head. I am so grateful for this moment.
Formerly known as Willow Camp in 1870, this beach is one of the cleanest beaches in California.
Fun Fact: Refugees from the San Fransisco earthquake came to this area and built some of it’s first businesses. Also, Wes Craven’s original horror film “The Fog” was filmed in this small town and beach. The beach is also known as the red Triangle due to the amount of great white shark attacks since 1952. Also, Janis Joplin’s cremated ashes were scattered along this beach
Music that we can dance around the room to or just get present in our environment while making memories driving on our latest desert trip to Arizona.
Each of these songs makes us feel grateful and excited to hit the open road with Miss Millie Quinn. Give it a listen!
Millie did amazing! She loved flying and didn't cry at all both there and back!
As soon as we hit the ground, it was off to pick up our Soccer Mom Van pick up supplies and snacks for M3F Fest and started setting up the Then, Now, Always booth.
We booked our Airbnb way early and stayed at a super rad Pool Oasis Home in the guest cottage in back. Absolutely loved it!
Each morning we would walk the neighborhoods and let Millie nap on Mom before Dad went to work the Fest.
We would get to the fest right before doors at 1pm and Millie got to stay and play for the beginning before it got too busy...
One of the main things we do in Phoenix though is brunch hard! Whenever you are visiting, you have to, I mean HAVE TO eat at Vovomeena, Matt's Big Breakfast, and Phoenix Public Market.
Our new Canadian Friends flew down for M3F too!
One of the best things we got to do for our 2nd year in a row though was visit The Trinity Church. Not many know, but Tiffany and I had been trying to have a child for probably 6 years or so. After no success, we were starting to get discouraged and wondering if we should look into if there was something wrong. Well, it was here a year ago March 4th 2018 Tiffany and I were listening to a sermon on healing here and she started tearing up. She didn't tell me why till after we came back home to Florida and found out 11 days later on March 15th we were pregnant. But for the first time in a very long time, my wife heard the Lord say to her "I will give you a child".
So with tears in our eyes, we were able to share this beautiful story with Pastor Mark, who's ministry has had a huge impact on our lives and marriage since we lived in Portland, OR. He prayed over little Millie and us while sharing what a privilege it has been for him to watch his daughter grow in her faith and serve alongside him that Sunday.
So with our soul's filled beyond measure as well as our brunch bellies, we ended M3F on the positive and headed for our first family vacation to Sedona!
Sedona Blog to follow next week!
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Is there anything that lasts anymore in a world that only changes?
I remember watching Interstellar for the first time and being captivated by something as grand and neverending as space and time itself. Yet thinking, “Is there something even greater?”
The film concludes that only love can transcend both time and space. That it truly is the one thing that has no beginning and no end.
It is Everlasting.
Joshua Tree National Park — 2015
Think of everything you’ve loved in this life. Past, present, even future. Think of everyone you’ve loved the most. The ones you would cross any distance to profess your devotion. The ones you would risk anything for.
This feeling, this knowledge, is something beyond our conscious understanding. It comes from somewhere else. It’s the only force that continues to go further than anything we comprehend and has the power to change anyone and even time, history, and the future itself.
So where does this love exist? How can it remain true against the test of time? How do you protect it and let it flourish against all odds? And how could you bare to let it go if it seems to no longer exist?
To find it, your life’s purpose must be to seek its source. It will take believing it still exists. Remembering that we have met its undeniable force before inside our hearts and know the depths it has reached. Understanding that it is a rare and timeless treasure in a world that only offers change. Many will remain unconvinced though and believe that it must not be available for them anymore. Many will lose hope.
Too many times, the pain of betrayal and loss have proven to be the greater force. More unbelievable than love itself. Leaving us to carry only the heaviness of an empty heart that now outweighs what once was full. With fear being the only convincing reality to grip, we rationalize that it’s safer to preserve our heart than to risk releasing it to love again.
But, if you desire to be loved again, fear cannot win. If you long to love again, you must search your own heart and connect it to a greater source where love begins with the healing properties it embodies. It might cost more pain and even forgiveness, but you are investing in the restoration of your heart and the ability to freely move it and enable it to live again. And to possibly love again.
To find that your capable of being loved and recovered again, no matter what has been done. This power changes everything. It’s beyond what you or I could believe.
Nothing else can transform who you were and who you are to become. It will be your life’s work to trust in it, but the opportunity is available always, because yes, this is love in it’s truest form.
It transcends all. It conquers all. It is everlasting to everlasting.
In this video, we share how Then, Now, Always came to be and the journey we took to start a new path. When we learn about loss and letting go, something is triggered in our souls that allows for freedom.
We're not going to have all the answers. What does it look like to trust a Father who loves us perfectly? We just had to step out in faith.
Watch here:
This video is for everyone who has ever asked "What does Then, Now, Always mean? What do the triangles represent?"
We love you and hope you enjoy our story.
Video: Angelo Valentine @coastalwars
Music: "BetterDays" by Ben Sound